Assignment
Respond to at least two colleagues in one of the following ways:
Reflect on and explain a similar or different experience you may have had.
Share an insight you gained from your colleague’s post.
Suggest an article to support or refute your colleague’s post.
*** I come from a 2 parent middle class African American Household
Jennifer Jobe
RE: Discussion 1 – Week 8
There are so many different types of family configurations in the world today- single parent homes with biological children or adopted children or both, same-sex couples with adopted children or surrogate children, foster families, nuclear families, generational families, friends that make up the family- the list is quite extensive. As a military member I most often interact with nuclear families, single-parent families, and groups of people that have chosen to be considered family despite the fact that they are not blood related. Because of this my assumption of what a family is is very broad. Within the military community, however, there are stigmas attached to certain family configurations that I have noticed over my career. Having seen what these assumptions do to families I do my best to avoid them and not automatically assume why someone’s family is the way it is.
An example of this is when you see two young (18-19 years old) airmen married and with children it is assumed they met during training or at their first base and then got pregnant (usually assumed to be by accident) and married. The marriage is typically questioned. It is assumed that the marriage is a tactic to allow the parents to get assignments to the same location; this is the stigma that all young marriages like this face. In turn, this assumption can have devastating effects on the young couple; because their marriage is questioned by others it can create doubts for the couple about how genuine their marriage is. I have seen this cycle play out several times with pretty even results of divorce and staying together so I try to encourage my younger troops to avoid talking about marriages at work unless it is necessary.
It’s the gossiping and stigma’s that the military community continues to perpetuate that is damaging young families. I imagine the stigma is based on some level of reality or personal experiences others have had, but that does not give just cause for it to be placed on everyone in that family configuration/situation. As stated in Derman-Sparks and Olsen Edwards (2010) the structure of a family gives no insights about how well that family is doing, something that professionals must remember when working with children.
Resource:
Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children.
Rhonda Wood
RE: Discussion 1 – Week 8
Week 8 Wood, R
DPSY 6400
Discussion 1
The pivotal point between acceptance or prejudice may form in the child according to the manner in which their questions are answered. Children ask so they can understand a family different from their own. During early years the child connects value of a specific genogram if those around them do. Otherwise children tend to be open and accepting. Specific holidays for parents may be a sensitive area for some children. Rather than Mother’s/Father’s Day, we may tell the children to make cards for the one who takes care of them. The teacher may display various family combinations around the room. They are to be especially sensitive to the needs of children in foster care. Children whose parents are ill or serve in the military may also require additional support (Derman-Sparks & Olsen Edwards, 2010).
The configuration of a family does not determine its environmental health. Traditional families can become dysfunctional. Parental divorce is more advantageous than unresolved abuse or violence (Anderson, 2014). A study on lesbian-led families indicated that the child may have two attentive, nurturing moms. The Kinetic Family Drawing Test (KFDT) allows the child to draw each family member doing something. Proximity of family members and what each member is doing may convey the child’s emotions regarding their family (Tasker & Granville, 2011).
I was born into a traditional family with my mom, dad, and siblings. I married when I was 27. We were married for 25 years and my children were brought up in a traditional family. I was raised that marriage was for life and assumed mine would be. I released that assumption when it was no longer healthy. I told my children the following: Our family has not been healthy for a long time. Divorce is like an operation. It is really painful, but then the family can get healthy again. That was five years ago, and we are healthier for it.
My oldest brother’s marriage was interracial. My sister chose to be a single mom. She has had a great career and her two daughters are in university. The older is training to be a social worker and the younger is studying to be a physician. My middle brother’s daughter died in her sleep at 23 years old. We all grieved deeply for him. My youngest brother married quite young and had a most authentically beautiful marriage. He suffered stage 4 melanoma for over 7 years. I was with him 10 days before he died and his wife looked at him the same as she did when he was her 6’3”, muscle bound, understated, shy red head. They are all precious because they are my family.
Regardless of family configuration, we are to honor them all which is how we may best honor the children.
References
Anderson, J. (2014, November). The impact of family structure on the health of children: Effects of divorce. Linacre quarterly, 378-387. doi:10.1179/002463914Z.00000000087
Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-biased education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children.
Tasker, F., & Granville, J. (2011). Children’s views of family relationships in lesbian-led
families. Journal of GLBT Family Studies, 7, 182–199.
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