There are many problems with the draft:
-In paragraph 2, you state that “racism has had major effects on racism.” This is confusing. Also in that paragraph, you mention that red and blue maps contributed to voting differences, but this is not the case. The maps did not contribute to voting differences; they illustrated the differences.
-Further on, you state that in a demonstration of racism and humiliation, minorities threw support to the Democrats. In what ways does this demonstrate either racsim or humiliation, as you state?
-There are numerous errors in capitalization throughout.
-The most serious issue with the draft is that it addresses only one part of the larger assignment; a fuller discussion of your own perspective was required.
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