This is a revision of a paper already written. PLEASE pay close attention to annotated remarks on the paper and correct and revise as appropriate. Please open attachment and revise the paper. The paper was a rough draft and receive a 7 out of 15 points so it needs a lot of work to make it better. This paper had some good textual information, but in almost every paragraph there was no evidence to the claim. Every paragraph should have a topic sentence/claim…in this case it would be about a false assumptions about homelessness.
Overall in the paper you have written, there is a lot of paragraphs for the info you’re putting out. None of these paragraphs really convince me of much because there isn’t much to analyze. Each paragraph needs the assumption, evidence to back your assumption, explanation for that evidence. And also, each paragraph need a counter argument to that assumption and evidence to back that argument along with an explanation. Please follow the PIE paragraph (open attachment) carefully so that this is done correctly.
This essay should contain assumptions about homelessness and a counter-argument. This should still follow the PIE format. (P can be a claim which is a false assumption, something like: “Many people assume…”) “i” = textual information about those assumptions. “E” explanation about why they are false, followed by “i” your counter-argument textual evidence and more “e”. Please review the PIE paragraph example carefully. Open attachment for this.
Please open attachment for the outline and review this. Each topic sentence or claim should have at least two supporting ideas with credible evidences backing that up. For each paragraph and every claim/topic, you should must have at least summary from a crdible source and 1 framed quotations from a credible source and back that up with evidences. Having evidences is KEY to make your point a strong argument..
On the 3rd paragraph with this topic sentence: A stereotype that many people believe is that all homeless people are addicts
You can still use that topic sentence on the 3rd paragraph, but it has to be source only in the United States. The source you gave was a report from London by: Fountain, Jane, et al. “Drug and Alcohol Use and the Link with Homelessness: Results from a Survey of Homeless People in London.” This means, that entire 3rd paragraph would have to be written.
Also, not only that you have to address the annotated remarks about the paper, please go over each paragraph to make sure that you have two supporting ideas for each claim as well as evidences to back up each of those supporting details. If you have all of this, this paper will be IMPROVED DRAMATICALLY. GOOD LUCK.. any questions, please let me know.
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