Overall this draft was very good, but I thought the writing style, at times, was not conducive to the format of a statistical report. the writing style is more in line with an essay format. For example, at times you speak in the subjective voice and are redundant, which is acceptable for an essay. However, you want to remove those elements from a statistical research paper. If you make a claim in the text to advance your topics, cite sources that support that claim.
I have attached a copy of the grading rubric and the file that needed to be edited
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